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Okay. You’ve probably got a pencil and some paper somewhere. And some crayons, maybe. Or markers. Colored pencils? They’ll do. Here’s what I would love from you!  I am about to debut my new story, “Fibbety Frog.” It tells the story of Sally Frog, who mischieviously disobeys her parents, Phineas and Polly Frog. Hopefully everything…

Absolutely free of charge to all Applegary fans: A wacky mystery item that you can use over and over again, with hilarious results. Inspired by Wacky Packages, invented by Applegary. That’s all we can tell you. Well, OK… here is another hint. This is not what you will receive, but it will be every bit as…

Thank you readers… for reading! Thank you commentators… for commenting! Thank you Askimet… for filtering out the spam, and realizing that “Ass Booty” is not really reading my blogs.  Thank you everyone… for just being yourselves! (Except for YOU, Ass Booty.)  

First of all, I like to thank anyone who takes the time to read my blogs. That’s cool. BUT, if you’re only sending SPAM to me just to SPAM yet another person, that’s not so cool at all. I don’t like SPAM. If I want a ham sandwich, I buy the ham. I try to…

What did you do this week? Anything fun? Must be nice! Enough about my week. Next week, I hope to add at least a couple things for your enjoyment: VISUAL MANTRAS: These will be pictures that have a specific acronym associated with them, to bring  a helpful concept to mind. Hopefully just looking at the picture…

No Vember? No problem. Haven’t heard from me in a while? Hey, I haven’t heard from you, either! How are you? What’s new? Did that wart go away? Whoops, sorry! At least I didn’t mention your embarassing moustache-dandruff problem. Myself, I just got BIT! That’s right, I just got Back In Town! It was nice to be out of…

Yes, I meant to say OCTOPUS. Hmm, now that I think of it, shouldn’t October be the 8th month? Ah, yes, those Little Caesar guys (Augustus and Julius, the famous brothers who made fairly decent pizza if you feel like that sort of a pizza) messed it all up. Anyways, for next week: Yes, a…

What am I doing? Typing, duh! Oh, okay… projects for applegary currently in the works: 1) You might have noticed that I made Pithy Poems into a separate section instead of keeping them under “Short Shorts.” Wait, that didn’t come out right. Anyways, the poems shall be titled and each have their own post in…

WHAT is going on NOW? I’m organizizizing, that’s what. (Hmm, no spell check? ha! I can get away with anything, even no capitalizing “HA!” Now it looks like the abbreviation for Hawaii, only it isn’t H-A, is it? But I’m getting off track here.) So, what I’m doing is compiling alllllll the goofy little notes…

Wow, there’s lots to get done here at The Orchard! I have some old unfinished childrens’ stories that need to get updated. “Which Sandwich?” for example I need to scan and upload the “I No Monkey” series, as I strongly believe that monkeys are ALWAYS funny. I also have a few more serious works in…