The Letter Box
Dear Detective Dennis Booker…
With a brand new 21 Jump Street movie out, this seemed like the perfect time to post a letter from the late 80’s that was sadly returned unanswered. Who knew that 21 Jump Street was evidently a top-secret address that didn’t actually accept mail? So I don’t have an answer letter to post, but I think you’ll…Read More
Heavenly Hash Vs. Rocky Road
What exactly IS the difference? Skip Wikipedia and head straight to www.applegary.com for the answer! We asked the experts, that is, folks that actually MAKE tons of ice cream (not just eat tons of it like somebody here, but we aren’t here to talk about that, are we?)… and we got answers! Spoiler alert: My personal…Read More
Band on the Ruin
When my watchband went on the fritz, that is to say, started to fray, I turned to the fine folks at Fossil to help me fix the situation. As you can see, I was in need of a new band. What better to do than to ask… I received a quite prompt response…. And, voila! The…Read More
Before or Afta?
More on shaving! (Did I just make you say “moron?”) I received a most prompt and courteous answer: … AND a coupon!!! So… what should I get? Help me out here! Thanks! G. ApplegaryRead More
Aqua Velva… Not just for shaving!
Here at applegary.com, we ask the questions that people want to know. Recently, we contacted the manufacturer of Aqua Velva to get the answer to a burning question. P.S. Aqua Velva does not burn… for long. I got a very prompt and efficient answer… …AND I got a coupon! You better believe if I walk…Read More
What’s the Difference Between Jam and Jelly?
Admit it, you’ve been wondering. Okay, the back story. It was the 1990’s, and I was heavily into a band named They Might Be Giants. (Still am.) One day, inspiration struck. “What’s the Difference Between Jam and Jelly?” seemed exactly like the type of song that TMBG might record. But first, I had to be accurate.…Read More
You Sort Of Got Mail
Isn’t it nice to get a letter from .. someone… somewhere? Sometimes, I suppose. Well, here you are, Whoever-You-Are! I really used to enjoy all the free stationery and pens that hotels used to give you. So much fun to write letters to… well, anywhere. Those were the days, I guess. Did you ever use…Read More
Eat Your Applesauce! (Matthew!)
I’m not quite sure if the moral to this whole story is that a) eating applesauce is good for you, or b) making fun of someone eating applesauce is NOT good for you. At any rate, a couple of letters straightened out the whole deal: I know, I know… Nobody likes a tattletale! But…Read More
The Bout That Never Was: Arby’s Oven Mitt VS. Hamburger Helper’s Helping Hand
Let me begin by saying that I am not the first person to address the concept of these two famous food mascots battling it out. Back in September of 2003, unbeknownst to me, it was briefly entertained at the Wonderful World Of Longmire. You can find those comments here: http://www.worldoflongmire.com/dailycomment/september_03.html I am also not the ONLY…Read More