Posts by Gary Applegary
You like ducks? You like kiwis?
Well, what about a DUCKIWI? What’s that, you say? Here it is! Well, maybe my rendition of the duckiwi isn’t so pretty, but maybe we can all try to be a little more like this creature. How, you say? Well, like the kiwi, it is UNFLAPPABLE, and of course, being part duck, everything just rolls…
Read MoreThe Neeto Pak
I think we’ve ALL been here, am I right? You KNOW that the tastiest snack on earth is Cheesy-toes (not to be confused with highly protected and trademarked Cheetos), and you’d love to munch a big bag of ’em, right now. However, you are on the way to work. Or you are AT work. Or…
Read MoreA Family Circus Parody
Yeah, I know; EVERYBODY has done these. Still, I hope that 1) You think my take on The Family Surplus is funny, and 2) I don’t get any nasty letters from Bil Keane. I’d like to think he’ll laugh if and when he sees this.
Read MoreThe Decaf-Your-Hyper-Coworker Coffee Pot, aka the Decaffer Decanter
The boss comes in loaded for bear. He’s been turned out of his own house after drinking several cups of coffee and driving his wife and family crazy, and now he’s banished to your workplace. Where’s the first place he heads? Yup, the coffeepot! What he really needs is some Prozac, a whack to the…
Read MoreMy First Fictional Piece!
I really hope you enjoy this tale filled with irony, mystery, and of course, an aardvark. I was eight when I wrote it; something else was ATE in the story! Read on! LIL’ GARY’S NOTE: I guess we can be happy this particular story didn’t have illustrations; it might have been a Lil’ Gory. And…
Read MoreMy first work of Non-Fiction
True story! Read on! …Don’t worry, I won’t leave you in suspense. Part II is coming right up… LIL’ GARY’S NOTE: For the record, we only yelled “Scat!” when the duck was about to leave a mess on our driveway. Ducks do that, you know. He enjoyed many good meals at our place. We called him…
Read MoreWho is Lil’ Gary?
Lil’ Gary In 1976, a 7 year old goofball with a head full of silliness decided he would put pencil (remember those chunky ones with no erasers?) to paper (wide rule) and document his silliness in the form of poetry. Lil’ Gary was a fan of Dr. Seuss and iambic pentameter, even though he didn’t know…
Read MoreThe Story Of Fancy Pants
“Fancy Pants” is a silly and fanciful story of a free-spirited young man who is determined to dress for success. He meets challenges successfully, keeps a positive attitude, and in the end, nothing brings him down. You’ll feel like dancing when you’re finished reading “Fancy Pants!” The book is designed to have fun reading aloud,…
Read MoreFancy Pants: Note to Publishers
Fancy Pants is completely ready to go to print! Here are some details about the book and the illustration files.. Fancy Pants is 32 pages plus cover. The size of the pages are 9″ X 9″. The illustrations are CMYK Full color throughout, and available to publishers as a Quark Xpress 7.0 document. Fancy Pants has approximately 750 words, written in…
Read MoreFANCY PANTS: THE STORY ITSELF!
Yes, we gave it plenty of buildup, now it is time to enjoy reading the story, Fancy Pants! FANCY PANTS Fancy Pants I received in the mail, as it happened by chance An invitation to go to a dance. Now, everyone knows that in this part of France If you go to the dance, you…
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