I think we’ve ALL been here, am I right? You KNOW that the tastiest snack on earth is Cheesy-toes (not to be confused with highly protected and trademarked Cheetos), and you’d love to munch a big bag of ’em, right now. However, you are on the way to work. Or you are AT work. Or on your way to a date, or a photoshoot. You REALLY don’t want orange cheesy residue all over your lips and fingers do you? And who has time to lick all of it off each finger, just for the secret joy you’ll have each time you shake some unsuspecting victim’s hand? The solution: Gary’s non-patented, unappreciated NEETO PAK!

Okay, let’s agree that the sketch is not the best. But here’s the gist… Your Cheesy-toes snacks come in a special pack, that has a spoon and a wet wipe (like you get at the high-falootin’ BBQ joints) attached underneath. The Cheesy-toes are bite-sized, and with your spoon, you don’t get any orange powder on your fingers. If you happen to get a case of orange lips, which is inevitable, why, that wily old wet wipe will remove all traces. Viola! You don’t have to settle for Triskets or dry crumbly crackers anymore! Enjoy your Cheesy-Toes!

I know what you’re thinking: This is SUCH a great idea, Gary should have marketed it to Frito Lay. Well, I tried!

Bah! At least I got a coupon. I forget what I used it on. I fully expect that one of my brainier readers will figure out how to get these on the market, and one day I will get a nice big box of cash from them. Thank you in advance!

POSTED ON August 7, 2010 BY Gary Applegary

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