Posts by Gary Applegary
The Coffee Donut!
Finally! Coffee AND donut in ONE HAND! Now your other hand shall be freed to use your cell phone, hairbrush, to gesture at other drivers, or perhaps even steer your vehicle in a somewhat safe fashion. How about that? If you have the ambition and necessary equipment to make donuts, then this recipe is for…
Read MoreT.O.A.S.T.
Mmm, nothing like breakfast toast. Or anytime toast. Unless it’s burnt. The lesson of this visual mantra is simple: Don’t KEEP getting burned! You don’t put burnt toast back into Ye Olde Toaster, do ye? Of courseth not! I believe some Einstein once said that insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over,…
Read MoreB.O.O.M.
This is useful in the following situation: It happened. You wish it hadn’t, but it did. It was ugly. No getting around it. Bad stuff. Boo! You’ve learned everything (if anything) possible you could from the “it” that happened. You need to stop looking back. When you look back at it, guess what? It’s STILL…
Read MoreThe Wacky Chocolate Identifier!
You could be the proud owner of this Wacky Chocolate Identifier. (WCI, pronounced “wik-ee”) Let’s face it – whenever there’s a nice box of chocolates to share, you get a raw deal. Somebody always takes the most delectable truffles and leaves you the rock hard caramels. In years past, they had to sniff and snort…
Read More*** FREE OFFER for FANS! ***
Absolutely free of charge to all Applegary fans: A wacky mystery item that you can use over and over again, with hilarious results. Inspired by Wacky Packages, invented by Applegary. That’s all we can tell you. Well, OK… here is another hint. This is not what you will receive, but it will be every bit as…
Read MoreNear Hits and Misses
Set the Wayback Machine to fourth grade. I won’t say what year that was. The teacher collected our writing assignments through part of the year, and then, at some point, we compiled them into a book for Mom. I will be completely honest. Mom gave hers back to me. And I threw it away. At…
Read MoreMonkey Business Call
Having backup when you need to make a visit to a business mogul is key. That additional support can really help ease your nerves and anxiety. Or perhaps, as in this case, not. MONKEY BUSINESS CALL Mr. Bizley: “Hello, Mr. Bigshot, pleased to meet you! My name is Mr. Bizley, and this is my…
Read MoreMonkey Butler
IS he a monkey? You decide. Hmmm. Something tells me that guy works for peanuts… I mean, bananas. Of course, he is probably unemployed now. Would you like a monkey butt… butler? G. Applegary
Read MoreReally Short Short! In fact, just a 3 word post! Wow! Plus a footnote. And one picture. But that’s it! Hey, I didn’t say the TITLE was short. The post is, though. Really. Read it.
NOW you know. *(Photograph by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Afiler afiler (from [http://www.afiler.com/page.php?filename=/pchsproducts/P6053389.jpg]) taken at http://www.pvillage.org Pennington County Historical Society.)
Read MoreI No Monkey, Noah!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: While this story might borrow loosely (very loosely) from both the Genesis Flood account and Shel Silverstein’s “The Unicorn,” (recorded as a song in 1967 by the Irish Rovers, thanks, Wikipedia!) the author would like to assure you that the following story is not intended to supplement, correct, or really have any correlation…
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