Posts by Gary Applegary
Viva Las Arby’s!
Up ahead, towering over you and lighting up the sky is a big cowboy hat that would make “Vegas Vic” envious. Is it on Las Vegas’ famous strip? No, it might be from YOUR own hometown! I’m speaking, of course, of an American icon, the old-timey “Big Neon Cowboy Hat” Arby’s sign. Beginning in 1975, many…
Read MoreLet’s Visit Pencil-vania!
“PENCIL-VANIA?!?!” OK, so I got you here under false pretenses. Sorry if I misled you, but you will get the point later on. You might be happy to know, though, that we AREN’T going to visit Pennsylvania! No, we are actually going to visit…. WYTH, VIRGI! No, almost… wait for it… Yes, Wytheville, Virginia. (Pronounced…
Read MoreA Kick in the Head
I found this stuck in a folder, originally written in 1986 for my Literature & Composition class. I got an 87% on it, because it was lacking a refrain. Well, I just didn’t see that as working with this story, so forget the grade, I did it my way. Take that. Anyway, I dusted it…
Read MoreSorry, You Are Not a Winner…
Now, I’m not saying you’re a loser. You’re not! It’s just that, well, you’re not a winner… not this time, at least. So, that’s what I had to tell the folks who tried to get the closest to the correct Super Bowl score a while back. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could break the…
Read MoreOctober 15, 2010
WHAT is going on NOW? I’m organizizizing, that’s what. (Hmm, no spell check? ha! I can get away with anything, even no capitalizing “HA!” Now it looks like the abbreviation for Hawaii, only it isn’t H-A, is it? But I’m getting off track here.) So, what I’m doing is compiling alllllll the goofy little notes…
Read MoreGive Me Job!
Well, as the title makes clear, our monk… that is to say, MAIN character is in need of employment. Let’s see how he does! Author’s Note: Again, we must apologize for the “flingypoop!” This has GOT to stop. Also, apologies to the fine Harris Teeter grocery chain. This in no way implies that you are not…
Read MoreI No Monkey: The Beginning
This is the first installment of what I hope definitively proves that monkeys are ALWAYS funny. In this case, we seem to have a character who consistenly insists that he is NOT a monkey. Is he? Is he no monkey? You, the reader, are left to decide. Enjoy! Have a banana split while you’re at…
Read MoreMonkey-tini
This took place, as you will read, in a bar, between a bartender, and his patron, the businessman. Is there a monkey anywhere to be found? Find out for yourself! MONKEY-TINI BARTENDER: So, what will it be? BUSINESSMAN: I’d like a martini, with an olive. BARTENDER: One martini, with a banana, coming right up! BUSINESSMAN:…
Read MoreTears Of Krypton
Tears Of Krypton He fell from the sky, To live, or to die. To set things right. Superman cried. He fought for good, Did all he could. How hard he’d tried. Superman cried. The people chose To grace oppose. Honor defied Superman cried. So darkness fell, Brought pain, brought hell. Loosed lethal tide. Superman cried.…
Read MoreYesterday’s Man
Yesterday’s man Has an obsolete plan. Squandering what he could become Pondering what he should have done.
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