Today we interviewed Cecil C. Serpent.
GAK: Today we’re visiting with Cecil, the Sea Serpent…
CSS: The winged sea serpent.
GAK: Ah, and you speak italic, as well.
CWSS: (Silence.)
GAK: So, as a winged sea serpent, you’re very rare, no?
CWSS: Well, there’s a few of us, so I would say medium rare.
GAK: Well done! Well done.
GAK: Moving on…. The Drac! Is he a relative of yours?
CWSS: The Drac is a MYTH.
GAK: I’m sorry… So is SHE related to you?
CWSS: The Drac does not exist. It is a contradiction to itself, described as an invisible shape-shifter that takes the form of a winged sea serpent. How does anybody know that, if it’s invisible?
GAK: Great point, Cecil. It would seem that if you were invisible, shape-shifting would lose its impact as well. I’m an invisible spider! Wait, now I’m an invisible piece of tiramisu! Don’t eat me! Look! Well, you can’t look, but I just turned into an invisible semicolon!
GAK: Moving on… So, you’re a sea serpent, a winged sea serpent, that is to say… Do you live in the sea?
CWSS: No, as you know, I live in your basement.
GAK: Yes, I sea. Well, I hear you’re quite the music buff. Have you a favorite genre?
CWSS: Oh yes, I love the oldies!
GAK: Ahhh, like Dominique Vellard, or Hildegard von Bingen?
CWSS: Medieval music? No. I am not a dragon, I am a…
GAK: Winged sea serpent, yes. Quite sorry. So what sort of oldies might we find Cecil enjoying?
CWSS: I prefer 50’s music; Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Elvis, and such.
GAK: I bet you like “Great Balls of Fire!” Right? See, cause you breathe fire…
CWSS: Again, THAT would be a dragon, which I am not.
GAK: Yes, we’ve certainly established that you are one winged sea serpent, indeed. So… Favorite song?
CWSS: “Chantilly Lace!” This is the Big Bopper speaking…
GAK: Ahhh, well thank you for that mini-performance. You know, Mayan mythology features a winged serpent. Are you Mayan?
CWSS: Of course I’m yours! That’s why I live in your basement.
GAK: Well, we’ve about covered the essence that is you, Cecil. Any last quotes for us today?
CWSS: A wop bom a loo wop, a wop bam boom!
GAK: THANK YOU, Cecil!
