Short Shorts

Stompety Stomp! Slappety slap! The man in the yellow hat’s hat was flat. That’s Furious George. And that is that.

Before I threw away yet another note I’d written years ago and made no sense to me now, I looked at the flip side of it and found a crudely drawn cartoon. It really has it all… cacti that seem to float in midair… lack of perspective, and best of all, notes that explain the joke.…

Today I listened to “That’s Why God Made The Radio,” and for the most part, that’s exactly right. This album is full of lush, beautiful harmonies and the reminder that the Beach Boys have refused to grow up. I mean that in the best way possible. The album ended with an incredible suite that was as…

I remember this doodle as if it were 14 years and 16 days ago… I faxed it to my wife-to-be (now my wife-who-is) from work during my break from the madness that is being an optician. The fellow in the middle of the complainers was a rough cariciature of myself, (I did and do actually have…

NOW you know. *(Photograph by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Afiler afiler (from [http://www.afiler.com/page.php?filename=/pchsproducts/P6053389.jpg]) taken at http://www.pvillage.org Pennington County Historical Society.)

Riceboro,  Georgia, United States  — Today            I looked at the crow and he looked back.           He said to me, “Son, I don’t want your Big Mac.”           “The Lord’s taking care of me; yes indeed!”          “Now go on, son, help your brother in need.”             I should have said it right away. “What are…

It’s time, I think. By now, I really ought to have some measure of collected wisdom to share with the world. I also figure I’d better document it before I forget it all. You probably will read some of these and say, “MY Dad said that!” Or possibly, “Methuselah’s Dad said that!” Anyways, I can’t say I…

  What’s all this about making tighty whiteys look good? Ok, well, here you are despite the warning! I hope you had your lunch already; don’t want to spoil anybody’s appetite. Just kidding! I have to say, and I think you will agree, that I DO make these undies look great! Aww, now don’t they look…

Now, I’m not saying you’re a loser. You’re not! It’s just that, well, you’re not a winner… not this time, at least. So, that’s what I had to tell the folks who tried to get the closest to the correct Super Bowl score a while back. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could break the…