I No Monkey!

Voice That Sounds Suspiciously Like A Monkey: “Ring, ring!” Man Answering Phone: “Hello?” NOT Monkey: “Not Monkey speaking. What you wanted?” Man: “Um. YOU called ME.” Not Monkey: “Okay. What you want?” Man: “Hmm.” (Not) Monkey: “Okay, Survey Time! You like bananas.” Man: “What kind of survey… Okay. NO. No, I do not like bananas.”…

Having backup when you need to make a visit to a business mogul is key. That additional support can really help ease your nerves and anxiety. Or perhaps, as in this case, not. MONKEY BUSINESS CALL   Mr. Bizley: “Hello, Mr. Bigshot, pleased to meet you! My name is Mr. Bizley, and this is my…

IS he a monkey? You decide. Hmmm. Something tells me that guy works for peanuts… I mean, bananas. Of course, he is probably unemployed now. Would you like a monkey butt… butler? G. Applegary

AUTHOR’S NOTE: While this story might borrow loosely (very loosely) from both the Genesis Flood account and Shel Silverstein’s “The Unicorn,” (recorded as a song in 1967 by the Irish Rovers, thanks, Wikipedia!) the author would like to assure you that the following story is not intended to supplement, correct, or really have any correlation…

Well, as the title makes clear, our monk… that is to say, MAIN character is in need of employment. Let’s see how he does! Author’s Note: Again, we must apologize for the “flingypoop!” This has GOT to stop. Also, apologies to the fine Harris Teeter grocery chain. This in no way implies that you are not…

This is the first installment of what I hope definitively proves that monkeys are ALWAYS funny. In this case, we seem to have a character who consistenly insists that he is NOT a monkey. Is he? Is he no monkey? You, the reader, are left to decide. Enjoy! Have a banana split while you’re at…

This took place, as you will read, in a bar, between a bartender, and his patron, the businessman. Is there a monkey anywhere to be found? Find out for yourself! MONKEY-TINI BARTENDER: So, what will it be? BUSINESSMAN: I’d like a martini, with an olive. BARTENDER: One martini, with a banana, coming right up! BUSINESSMAN:…