Posts by Gary Applegary
To Tank, or Not to Tank? A simple fashion guide.
Sun’s out, guns out! Should I wear a tank top? Answer one question and we’ll give you your answer: Are you Wolverine? You’re welcome!
Read MoreMIGHTY BITEY
The town population of warm Treasure Shore Is small, but it used to be quite a bit more. Then a huge angry shark terrorizing the beach Started snatching and snapping up all within reach. All sizes, shapes and colors of people he ate, A person-eating shark does not discriminate. The first victim had…
Read MoreThe Wrapperer Snapperer
Winifred Wallaby Weng was a mostly good little kid. Always listened to Mumma; well, most of the time she did. She studied for tests, cleaned her room, obeyed the babysitterer, But the little girl with the adorable smile was a careless, frequent, litterer. “Pick up after yourself, Winnie!” was Mumma’s constant reminder. But everywhere that…
Read MoreSlowpoke Cowpoke
SLOWPOKE COWPOKE Deep in the heart of Dallas Fort Worth Lived the fastest cowpoke in all of the Earth. Zebedee Zoom was snappy and stealthy. It kept him sharp, and it kept him healthy. Whenever a job had to be done, Everyone knew that old Zeb was the one. Yes, Zoom was the man—he was…
Read MoreHey, Me!
Sauce Like A Boss!
If you’re like me… Wait. Really? You can’t be! Okay, if you HAVE SIMILAR TASTES, then… you LOVE ketchup. You put it on everything. You put ketchup on your ketchup; in fact, you have a t-shirt that says that. So naturally, on those rare occasions (wink!) that you eat French fries, you naturally have a…
Read MoreWhen You Are Funny…
WHEN YOU ARE FUNNY… When you are funny You can’t hide it, it shows! Your funny’s just as obvious As the face on your nose. You’re zany! You’re witty! You’re sappy! You’re silly! Always amusing! Always? Yes, really! Keeping everyone in stitches, Rolling in the aisles. You’re dishing out punchlines, And chuckles, and…
Read More(NOT) Monkey Survey
Voice That Sounds Suspiciously Like A Monkey: “Ring, ring!” Man Answering Phone: “Hello?” NOT Monkey: “Not Monkey speaking. What you wanted?” Man: “Um. YOU called ME.” Not Monkey: “Okay. What you want?” Man: “Hmm.” (Not) Monkey: “Okay, Survey Time! You like bananas.” Man: “What kind of survey… Okay. NO. No, I do not like bananas.”…
Read MoreA Day In My Life
Hmmm. That funny-looking kid with glasses is looking at me and writing a paper for school. “A Day in the Life of a Boston Terrier.” Sounds like my unauthorized biography. I will try to give you the official version. Here are a few things you should know about me. My…
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