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Let’s Visit Pencil-vania!

By Gary Applegary | October 20, 2010 |

“PENCIL-VANIA?!?!”

OK, so I got you here under false pretenses. Sorry if I misled you, but you will get the point later on. You might be happy to know, though, that we AREN’T going to visit Pennsylvania! No, we are actually going to visit….

WYTH, VIRGI! No, almost… wait for it…

Yes, Wytheville, Virginia. (Pronounced “With-E-Ville… by me, and ONLY me.) Guess what? It’s got a pretty cool-colorful-stripey-hot air balloon-looking water tower! Hmm, I should have taken a picture of it.

 Oh, OK! There it is. As you can see, I climbed halfway up it. Not really. Kids, do NOT climb water towers… without permission. Glad we settled that. Let’s see what else Wytheville has.

 This is a BEAUTIFUL weeping willow. Interestingly (to me at least), it was difficult to focus the camera on because of the many textures of the willowy leaves.

Wytheville has some significant Civil War history. Yep, almost 150 years ago, folks with muskrats were tromping through here. Whoops, make that MUSKETS.

So evidently, this here General Toland had a severe allergic reaction to gunfire right at this here spot. As you can see, he also clearly had some plaque buildup. Learning is fun!

This is the old Millwald Theater, where no doubt the soldiers would spend the evenings after a long day battling. “Rebel Without a Cause” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy” were big hits back in the day.

Mmmmm, hot dogs…… (Their breakfast dog is… unique. Okay, I made that up. Maybe.)

After a Skeeter Dog, you might be wanting a Coke. And a haircut. And some Rustoleum.

Hey! Wait a second… what is THIS we see coming up??? Is THIS the reason for those lame pencil puns earlier? (You can scroll back up if you missed them; we’ll wait. OK, you’re right, not worth it. Let’s move on.)

Whoa! It’s a GIANT PENCIL! This isn’t one of those novelty ones you get at Niagara Falls or Disneyland, no sir! It’s much bigger than a grown man, or the guy in this picture!

As always, I had to take a shot from right underneath. I think this came out kinda cool. (NOTE: I didn’t use any special filters or alter these photos afterwards; it REALLY was that beautiful of a day, and the sky was really that blue!)

Inside the office supply store was a slightly smaller “Giant Pencil.” (Fire extinguisher normal size.)

So, it seems the Paint Store also got into the supersized spirit of things. Cool Giant Can O’ Paint! And, DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET from the Wytheville Office Supply Store, Home of the Giant Pencil, we find….

“The PAPER CLIP?!?!” Not really! The PAPER CLIP?!! Say it isn’t so! Sadly it is; right across the street from the Giant Pencil. This is just wrong. That’s not even a real giant-sized paper clip, it’s just a window decal. VERY disappointing. Hopefully the REAL office supply store doesn’t lose any business to these clippy-heads. Anyways, right after this picture was taken, “somebody” threw a brick through the window of The Paper Clip. And that was all the pictures we took in Wytheville — we had to leave real sudden. Kids, do NOT throw bricks through windows of lame ripoffs of cool stores… without permission. Goodbye for now from Wytheville, where police are still looking for “somebody.” (Remember what I said, kids.)

P.S. Oh yeah, we made an interesting stop on the way back, at a restaurant I won’t name. Anyway, this place specializes in Roast Beef sandwiches, I’m thinking. We got some interesting food here…

Fortunately, I didn’t eat the pot cake, as I was driving. (Kids, don’t ever eat pot cakes.)  I did have the Large Jamocha Lettuce, which wasn’t bad tasting, but I think it was very overpriced! Bye for now.

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