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The ‘Never Ever Do This To Coffee’ Ditty

By Gary Applegary | December 6, 2010 |

I’m sure you are all aware that some disgruntled idiots will stoop to defiling the community coffee pot in an ill-advised attempt to get even with their coworkers for perceived ill treatment. (I apologize to any parents who might have to explain this to their kids. Let them know that this must NEVER be done.) I want you to know that applegary.com does NOT condone this behavior. Consider the following sophmoric ditty as a cautionary tale, lest you ever be tempted to do this naughty, naughty thing. I hope the point gets across. We don’t want an epidemic of using coffee pots as potties sweeping the nation. Mainly, I don’t want it happening where I work.

Okay, so here is what happened to one fellow who tried this “trick,” and how it backfired on him:

Coffee Pottie Naughty Naughty

He peedle-deedled into the coffee,

Thought he was funny, but he was naughty.

He peedle-deedled into the coffee pot –

Thought he was clever, turns out that he was NOT.

For Monday morning, bright and early, he forgot –

And drank the first cup of coffee from the pot! 

(Second verse, similar to the first, but a little bit louder and a little bit worse…) 

He peedle-deedled (oh no!) into the coffee! (say it ain’t so!)

Thought he was clever (no way!) but he was naughty! (you betcha!)

He peedle-deedled into the coffee pot! (WHAT?!)

Thought he was clever (oh so clever); really he was NOT!

Cuz Monday morning bright and early he forgot (Uh oh!)

And drank the first cup of coffee from the pot! (HA-ha!) 

The END of THAT.    

By the way, this is of course, GROUNDS for firing.

Let’s never ever revisit this topic again. Thank you!

G. Applegary

P.S. We can hope the next post will be better. Hope springs eternal!

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