Go Away, Arny!

This story is for everyone who has a younger sibling. When I was 15 years old, I was finally done being the baby of the family… Surprise! Baby bro came along!

It was great hanging out with him, watching him grow, watching him try all the tricks that never worked for me or my older brothers. I still laugh at being tattled on by him sometimes. He tagged along with me a lot, but he was always welcome. I was always happy to have him along and didn’t resent him, like the character in the story does. We had good times! Still, there comes a day when everyone starts growing up and heading in different directions, and you miss the good old days you spent together. That’s what inspired Go Away, Arny! Appreciate the fun of a younger brother or sister all you can!

GO AWAY, ARNY!

He was sort of like my shadow,

Like he was stuck to me.

My little bother, I mean, BROTHER,

The pest I called Arny.

He thought I was his buddy,

But I thought he was a pain.

I scowled and growled and howled at him,

Over and over again:

“Go away, Arny! Leave me alone!

Stop bugging me all the time.

I’d like to do one thing just ONCE

Without you right behind!”

Whatever I would do,

Wherever I would go,

If I backed up suddenly,

I’d step on Arny’s toe.

I couldn’t play with other kids,

Or do the things they do.

It was only I who had to ride

A skateboard built for two!

“Go away, Arny! Leave me alone!

Don’t follow me constantly.

I can’t do anything on my own,

Without you pestering me!”

I needed spoons for both of us

Each time I ordered soup.

If I wanted to have ice cream,

It must be a DOUBLE scoop.

TWO tickets at the theater!

Pizza with DOUBLE cheese!

In cold weather, we wore a sweater

Which had – – Of course! FOUR sleeves!

“Go away, Arny! Go away NOW!

Go anywhere but here!

I’ll find a way, someday, somehow,

To make you disappear!”

One time I made a sandwich,

Arny was so close to the bread..

I couldn’t help myself; I squirted

Mustard on his head!

I’d put on masks to scare him,

And chase him out the door.

But it was never very long,

‘Til he came back for more.

“Go away, Arny! Get away from me!

What do I have to do?

I have places to go and people to see,

But I’m NOT doing it with you!”

THEN… One day, Arny DID go away,

The day started out like any other.

I ate my breakfast, then went outside —

But nowhere a sign of my brother.

I figured he must be hiding,

His giggle would give him away.

But I didn’t hear one single peep,

And I began to say:

“Okay, Arny! Come on out!

Please stop pulling my leg!

I WILL let you tag along with me,

But I’m not going to beg!”

But still, I got no answer.

He was nowhere to be found!

I didn’t like it; much too quiet

Without Arny around.

I began to miss the little guy.

I thought of all we’d done.

I realized that he and I

HAD had a lot of fun.

“Come out, Arny! Come out now!

Come outside and play!

Come ON, Arny! You and I

Have lots to do today!”

“Tow me down the street again!

Pull me on your bike!

Or we can play ‘It From The Pit,’

Or any game you like!

But still, there was no Arny.

There was no reply at all.

Why did I have to be SO mean?

Now, I began to call:

“Come back, Arny! Please come back!

I’m sorry I got so mad!

You’re not a pest! You are the BEST

Friend I ever had!

COME BACK, ARNY!

Author’s Note: This story would SEEM to end on a sad note; however, once illustrated you would see that Arny is actually hiding and waiting to pop out and scare his older bro… much like this picture.

Yes, he is actually LEAPING out! Not for the squeamish, ha!

Another Author’s Note:

Wondering about It From The Pit? Ahhh, a fun and screechy game from Milton Bradley created back in 1964. You might be able to find one on eBay; cuz you can’t have mine!